Butterfly

I don't really know bout butterfly. For all i know, it's mainly day-flying insect with beautiful wings and many girls are madly in love with it. Recently i just found something unique bout butterfly; it loves to perch in something that has quite similar color with its wing. Is it true or not or it's just a coincidence, well.. i think i can prove it. Please enjoy the photohgraph below :)

See, she loves my shoe :D

Me on December

Hello :) First of all, happy new year !! and it's 2011, new year, new day, new hopes ,wish everything be better, more beautiful and the most important thing; keep living life to the fullest :)

Well, i'm not gonna talk about new year or anything related, instead i bring a story of me at the end of December 2010. December 22, well ya it's mother's day. i know it's late to write something bout it but you know my right hand just got better few days ago. What about it ?! my right hand ?! oh it's a long story and let me tell you this in another story. But anyway , about two weeks ago i had a very happy days, let's say "i was happy to the max !!". oh God i can't believe i finally did it. i passed my graduate-thesis examination on the mother's day and for that my sincere gratitude goes upon the most valuable persons in my life for their love and support. My parents and my only two little brothers; Ibu, Bapak, Nday and Adi. They are my only reason to keep trying and be a better person, also thank you so very much for giving me uncountable spirit, love and affection when I fell down. Special for the one whom i have the relationship with for the last 35 months, you are just that kind and for sure i'll name you in my acknowledgement :D

Speaking about mother's day and my parents especially my mom, i do admit that i'm still nothing, i haven't give anything in return for everything they gave to me. Are they proud of me ?! i am not really sure bout it, but one thing for sure they are my hero. My mom and my dad didn't come from a wealthy family but they both was so very lucky to had grandpa and grandma who concerned about education much. it's like they did everything they could to support their kids with good education no matter how hard the family financial situation was. Grown up in a family like this, Mom and Dad concern alot about me and my siblings' education. My Mom is the one who always accompany us when we do our homework and they like to send us to join any courses than to buy jewelries or decorate our house. They always put education on top priority in our little family and they put aside their own needs, i know for sure they do all of that simply because they love us that much. And me as the eldest children in my family should be a good daughter and a kind sister for my little brothers, and yeaaah i'm still on my way to be a good figure for them. Can i ?! But too bad, because recently I believe that they are upset bout my education where i didn't graduate strict to the time, i'm so sorry for that mistake.. But still i really hope this happy news could heal that feeling :) ( I got A mom, dad..). For all things they did and didn't do to me, i do love them so very much. i love you mom, i love you dad more than i ever showed you. I really hope i can make you proud of me in your life time, because i do proud to be your daughter.

Happy mother's day mom..
Selamat hari Ibu, Ibuku..

We were meant to be !!

This short writing is dedicated to kak Jeni :)

I know that i really had quality times with you, hanging together, laughing silly things and sometimes i wonder what was the thing that made me miss you so deeply. We've been together for 35 months and for all what i've done I never meant to hurt you or else, i am really sorry for the tone i used, words that i said that hurts you so bad. i don't want to lose you either. But may be i'm still less capable to show you what i feel.

Tears, anger and jealousy.. i've started to get used to it :) and now i know that nothing is impossible when it comes to love.Truly, I feel the best when I'm with you. oh ya i have something for you kak, please enjoy the photograph below. I draw it when i got stuck with my graduate-thesis, but later it cheers me up and yes !! we were meant to be ;)

cute, huh ?! :D

Hope you like that cute photograph :)
See you soon :)

Gregory House.. The Logical, Obsessive and Confrontational

Awal November ini aku masih berjibaku menyelesaikan graduate-thesis, memoles sana-sini, nambahin ini-itu di-chapter analisa serta meyakinkan diri kalau aku bisa merampungkan kuliahku tahun ini, amiin :) .. Ternyata hal yang paling membosankan sekalipun kalo dikerjakan dengan sepenuh hati bisa sedikit terasa ringan, dan aku (mungkin) akan terus mencicil menulis sampai akhirnya dapat acc untuk ujian kompre ;)

Berjibaku dikamar, disana-sini banyak buku berserakan (korban keganasan semangat belajarku, hehe..), sampe kadang lupa makan lupa mandi dan setia ditemani oleh jelo; hari-hari ketika menyelesaikan tulisanku terasa indah ;) Oh ya !! dan juga aku punya teman baru, yang brilliant, charming, yet humorous, izinkan aku memperkenalkan The Gorgeous Gregory House ;) . tapi.. tapi.. sebelumnya aku ingin berterima kasih kepada salah seorang my best buddy, om Ray yang sudah minjemin 5 season serial tv House, yang keren dan bikin nagih.

Gregory House.. The Logical, Obsessive and Confrontational

Waaah.. bingung harus mulai dari mana. Hmm.. Gregory House (Dr. Greogy House, M.D) adalah tokoh fiksi utama dalam serial tv House, yang diperankan oleh Hugh Laurie. Gregory House adalah seorang dokter dalam bidang penyakit menular dan ahli ginjal di Princeton‑Plainsboro Teaching Hospital (PPTH) New Jersey. House memimpin sekelompok dokter muda, yang terdiri dari tiga orang yaitu dr. Robert Chase (Jesse Spencer), dr. Alison Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) dan dr. Eric Foreman (Omar Epps). Mereka merupakan tim yang menangani kasus medis langka serta misterius. Yap. Penikmat serial House disuguhi sisi lain dari kehidupan rumah sakit; divisi diagnosis yang harus mencari tau penyakit yang diderita dengan hanya mengetahui symtomps sang pasien. Diperlukan medical history untuk mempermudah diagnosa namun ngga jarang pasien yang ditangani dr. House berbohong akan sejarah kesehatannya yang sedikit mempersulit proses pengobatan.

House menjadi rujukan dokter-dokter lain untuk melakukan diagnosa karena hampir disetiap diagnosanya ia menjatuhkan eksekusi yang tepat sehingga pasien terselamatkan. Hal yang sangat menarik dari karakter House ini adalah dia yang arrogant, annoying, anti-social and insensitive, he is totally annoying but inside is gorgeous, sweet and indeed genius !!
and ya he is manipulative, just like what he always say;

"Everybody lies and I too" ;)

Dan jangan tanya siapa yang memerankan dr. House coz i am falling in love with him !! really !! well.. Hugh Laurrie aktor asal inggris yang memerankan Gregory House ini ternyata sangat multi talented dan memesona; a great pianist, he plays other instruments; guitar, he can sing, he wrote a book, he does humor, how amazing !! :D Terlihat di beberapa scene, house bermain piano atau gitar elektrik yang sangat-sangat feel the beat. Belum lagi selera humornya yang sangat cerdas. Gregory House dan Hugh Larrie adalah paket manusia sempurna :)

Sambil menyelesaikan graduate-thesis, aku masih menanti supply season 6 serial tv House. Really wanna see what's House doing with his new team, his execution and other new cases :) yap. House is a must watch !!!




*Jelo ; boneka kucing berwarna kuning yang selalu tertindas akan tingkah laku ajaibku; menendang, menindih, melempar. But i love jelo just as much as i love jeni lolo :D

Who on earth can i turn to ?!

Life is too hard to go through it alone, without something to hold onto and without something that is sacred. Lately i turned to be someone, what's the phrase i'm looking for ?! hmm.. "A girl who had no interest to fix her life to be much better".

Yes, i am lazy.
Yes, i have no idea what to do.
Yes, i am the most stubborn man ever.
Yes, i am selfish.
Yes, i am a worst sister and not a good daughter.
Yes, i am not a good friend.
Yes, i am a terrible girlfriend.
Yes, I'VE HURT SO MANY PEOPLE IN MY LIFE !!
And yes, i am a pathetic girl.

Well ya, those "yes things" sound horrible, huh ?! I'm just trying to open my heart in order to be someone better, realizing how bad i am. I know that i was wrong but don't know why it's really hard to wake up then do something right. I don't even care bout my study, i don't give a damn to people whom trying to encourage me. I was rude, i shouldn't be pushing my friends and my boyfriend away. Surely, i need those people.

I'm trying to find a good side of me, yap !! realizing my bad is the first step.
After all that i've been through, those worst things, who on earth can i turn to ?!
I'm so grateful, He still gives me some more time to start over my spirit. It's just too bad that i wasted my time by doing nothing instead of do what i gotta do. Graduate soon !! :)
The most important point is i've found the new spirit to finish my graduate-thesis; writing, reading, analyzing and praying is all what i gotta do.
I don't care about my self, it's fine. But it's time to pay back, just don't let the people around me feel disapointed of having me as someone they love..


p.s. Welcome back Mr. Spirit and just make your self at home :)

Darmi

Orang tua ku tipikal manusia yang cukup prinsipil, salah satu prinsip mereka yang akhirnya turut mendarah daging ke aku adalah "jangan pernah lupain kampung halaman, jangan sok-sokan jadi orang kota, kita ini cuma orang kampung yang lagi berjuang buat ngga jadi kampungan", gleek !! :D err.. tapi kali ini aku ngga bakal ngebahas masalah prinsip orang tua aku, melainkan hal yang mampu aku lihat didaerah yang namanya "kampung" itu..

Boleh ya aku cerita sedikit flash-back :)
Zamannya kami (me and my two little brothers maksudnya) masih kecil-kecil, masih ingusan dan masih demen berantem, orang tuaku selalu menghargai prestasi rapor yang kami peroleh (tentunya kalo dapet ranking, kalo ngga yah silahkan manyun, ngga bakal dikasih apa-apa) dengan menawarkan sebuah paket liburan ke rumah nenek. Dan yaa.. kamipun melonjak-lonjak kegirangan kalo udah dikasih izin buat pulang kampung tanpa ditemani ibu-bapak. Karena disana kami bisa bebas sebebas-bebasnya, bisa main lumpur, ujan-ujanan, basah-basahan nangkep ikan, mandi disungai, dan hal yang paling aku suka.. rutinitas setiap pagi : kucuk-kucuk bangun pagi menuju dapur karena kami tau teh hangat khas buatan nenek sudah terhidang dimeja, sambil menyantap teh hangat kamipun tertawa kegirangan pamer asap yang keluar dari mulut. Yap. rumah nenek ku terletak di kaki bukit, yang brrr.. dingin sekali.

Aku, kedua adikku dan sepupu-sepupuku kerap kali janjian untuk liburan bersama, yang yaah sangat menyenangkan :) Oh ya, nenek akan marah kalau kami hanya main dirumah, nenek maunya kami main sama anak-anak kampung lainnya. Wohoo.. seru sekali. Ternyata mereka jago-jago dan sangat pemberani. Satu diantara mereka teman kecilku itu bernama Darmi. Seorang anak laki-laki yang kocak, kepalanya botak dan selalu melindungi kami dari anak-anak yang jahil. Aku ingat betul gimana sok jagonya dia menyelam ke dalam sungai buat nangkepin udang dan ia santap mentah-mentah. weekk.. jijiiik.. tapi dia bilang enak :(
Ada lagi, nah jadi dibelakang rumah nenek ku banyak sekali buah-buahan mulai dari duku, rambutan, kelapa sampe durianpun ada. Jadilah kami menjadi prajurit penjaga durian kalo-kalo ada yang jatuh :) Intinya.. begitu banyak kenangan kami bersama Darmi..

Tahun ini kembali aku pulang ke kampung nenek, merayakan lebaran bersama keluarga besar. Bedanya kali ini aku ngga ujan-ujanan lagi, ngga main lumpur lagi dan sedihnya akupun tak melihat Darmi.. "Ah, mungkin Darmi sudah tidak mau main bersama ku lagi, atau dia malu, atau dia sudah pergi merantau buat cari duit, atau dia sudah tak kenal aku ?!" selintas kemunginan-kemungkinan itu muncul dipikiranku. Namun semuanya sedikit terabaikan karena sibuk bersilaturahmi dengan sanak saudara. Sampai akhirnya aku dikejutkan karena melihat ibuku menangis diruang tamu dan nenek terlihat menjelaskan perihal yang membuat ibuku menangis. Aku menghampiri ibu dan bertanya ada apa, sambil menahan tangis ibuku bercerita apa yang baru saja dia lihat. Penjelasan ibu dan nenek menjawab semua tanyaku akan Darmi; dia bukan berubah menjadi seorang yang sombong, bukan pula lupa akan aku, tapi dia telah lupa semua orang yang ada disekelilingnya, termasuk orang tuanya sendiri.

Darmi sakit.

Kian hari badannya kian kurus, bahkan dia tidak mampu melakukan kegiatan pribadi seperti mandi dan makan. Anak kecil dikampung banyak yang bilang kalo Darmi sudah gila, karena setiap kali dia dibiarkan keluar rumah, selalu hilang. Dia pernah hilang dua hari dua malam dan setelah orang satu kampung panik dan putus asa mencarinya, Darmi ditemukan sedang duduk melamun ditengah hutan dan sejak itu dia dikurung didalam rumah.
Aku bukan bermaksud hiperbol, tapi aku yakin siapapun yang melihat kondisi dia saat ini pasti akan menitikkan air mata. Darmi dikurung sendirian didalam ruangan kosong, gelap dan dimalam hari hanya ada lampu minyak yang menjadi sumber cahaya. Pertama kali aku mengunjunginya di hari lebaran kedua, dimana semua orang bersuka cita penuh gembira merayakan hari kemenangan, tapi tidak dengan Darmi.. Dia tetap dikurung. Ya Allah.. Aku masih ngga percaya kalo ini Darmi, sangat kurus dan selalu tersenyum. Senyum kocaknya masih ada tapi sayang senyum itu hanya senyum hampa. Ah, aku masih ingat gimana bagusnya suara Darmi ketika mengumandangkan adzan di masjid, gimana merdunya suara darmi ketika ia mengaji.. Melihat keadaannya sekarang, hidup yang serba kekurangan, sakit yang ia derita serta perlakuan kasar dari saudara-saudaranya, aku kehabisan kata. Seperti alur cerita sinetron indonesia yang benar-benar sedang terjadi dikehidupan nyata.

Buat Darmi teman kecil ku.. Aku cuma bisa berdoa semoga Darmi kelak bisa sembuh, kembali beraktifitas dan senyum kocak mu kembali lagi menghias hari..

Hello Again...

Almost a month i leave martabak manis, no writing and no story. Yes, there were so many ideas came up in my head from time to time but i never really got a chance to write it. Busy ?! uummm.. not really. Just disappear for a while :) Anywho, where ever you are, i bring you some stories that probably you would like to read :D

1. I just got back from my hometown Bengkulu. Celebrating Idul Fitri with my whole big family and my friends, you know it's kinda a long awaited reunion. So happy but time goes by so fast and here i am, back to my daily life as a last year student who should finish her graduate-thesis soon, very soon.

2. My weight !! gosh gosh !! just can't believe it rises 4 kilograms. aarrrgghhhh :(
gee.. a big fat tall beautiful gorgeous agy is back !! :D

3. And ya, bout my graduate-thesis.. haven't even started to re-write. Have to find an encouragement; anything, anyone, anywho, whatever. I need that as long as it encourages me so i can start to finish and free my soul from the bloody question "Kapan wisuda ?!"

4. For somebody out there, hope you are fine and always have the same feeling with me. Wish you were here with your very comforting smile just to say "have a great day agli.." every single morning when i wake up. I know, distance means nothing when someone means so much, but i just wanna be honest with my self that i miss him, i miss him to the bone.
Would love to meet up sometime in the near future..

And others ?! well yaa.. doing great with my incredible best girlfriends and other friends at campus. One thing for sure, i miss my two little brothers, my mom and my dad. Really miss to be around them. Oh yaa.. FYI "Sinusitis itu menyakitkaaan dan sangat tidak enak" so avoid ice, any kind of ice; ice cream, cold soft drink, waffle ice cream, ice cream sundae and any other float drinks. Special for me and all of you, start a healhty life !!
So, so so.. i guess that is all for now. Hope i can do more writing next time :)