Butterfly

I don't really know bout butterfly. For all i know, it's mainly day-flying insect with beautiful wings and many girls are madly in love with it. Recently i just found something unique bout butterfly; it loves to perch in something that has quite similar color with its wing. Is it true or not or it's just a coincidence, well.. i think i can prove it. Please enjoy the photohgraph below :)

See, she loves my shoe :D

Me on December

Hello :) First of all, happy new year !! and it's 2011, new year, new day, new hopes ,wish everything be better, more beautiful and the most important thing; keep living life to the fullest :)

Well, i'm not gonna talk about new year or anything related, instead i bring a story of me at the end of December 2010. December 22, well ya it's mother's day. i know it's late to write something bout it but you know my right hand just got better few days ago. What about it ?! my right hand ?! oh it's a long story and let me tell you this in another story. But anyway , about two weeks ago i had a very happy days, let's say "i was happy to the max !!". oh God i can't believe i finally did it. i passed my graduate-thesis examination on the mother's day and for that my sincere gratitude goes upon the most valuable persons in my life for their love and support. My parents and my only two little brothers; Ibu, Bapak, Nday and Adi. They are my only reason to keep trying and be a better person, also thank you so very much for giving me uncountable spirit, love and affection when I fell down. Special for the one whom i have the relationship with for the last 35 months, you are just that kind and for sure i'll name you in my acknowledgement :D

Speaking about mother's day and my parents especially my mom, i do admit that i'm still nothing, i haven't give anything in return for everything they gave to me. Are they proud of me ?! i am not really sure bout it, but one thing for sure they are my hero. My mom and my dad didn't come from a wealthy family but they both was so very lucky to had grandpa and grandma who concerned about education much. it's like they did everything they could to support their kids with good education no matter how hard the family financial situation was. Grown up in a family like this, Mom and Dad concern alot about me and my siblings' education. My Mom is the one who always accompany us when we do our homework and they like to send us to join any courses than to buy jewelries or decorate our house. They always put education on top priority in our little family and they put aside their own needs, i know for sure they do all of that simply because they love us that much. And me as the eldest children in my family should be a good daughter and a kind sister for my little brothers, and yeaaah i'm still on my way to be a good figure for them. Can i ?! But too bad, because recently I believe that they are upset bout my education where i didn't graduate strict to the time, i'm so sorry for that mistake.. But still i really hope this happy news could heal that feeling :) ( I got A mom, dad..). For all things they did and didn't do to me, i do love them so very much. i love you mom, i love you dad more than i ever showed you. I really hope i can make you proud of me in your life time, because i do proud to be your daughter.

Happy mother's day mom..
Selamat hari Ibu, Ibuku..

We were meant to be !!

This short writing is dedicated to kak Jeni :)

I know that i really had quality times with you, hanging together, laughing silly things and sometimes i wonder what was the thing that made me miss you so deeply. We've been together for 35 months and for all what i've done I never meant to hurt you or else, i am really sorry for the tone i used, words that i said that hurts you so bad. i don't want to lose you either. But may be i'm still less capable to show you what i feel.

Tears, anger and jealousy.. i've started to get used to it :) and now i know that nothing is impossible when it comes to love.Truly, I feel the best when I'm with you. oh ya i have something for you kak, please enjoy the photograph below. I draw it when i got stuck with my graduate-thesis, but later it cheers me up and yes !! we were meant to be ;)

cute, huh ?! :D

Hope you like that cute photograph :)
See you soon :)

Who on earth can i turn to ?!

Life is too hard to go through it alone, without something to hold onto and without something that is sacred. Lately i turned to be someone, what's the phrase i'm looking for ?! hmm.. "A girl who had no interest to fix her life to be much better".

Yes, i am lazy.
Yes, i have no idea what to do.
Yes, i am the most stubborn man ever.
Yes, i am selfish.
Yes, i am a worst sister and not a good daughter.
Yes, i am not a good friend.
Yes, i am a terrible girlfriend.
Yes, I'VE HURT SO MANY PEOPLE IN MY LIFE !!
And yes, i am a pathetic girl.

Well ya, those "yes things" sound horrible, huh ?! I'm just trying to open my heart in order to be someone better, realizing how bad i am. I know that i was wrong but don't know why it's really hard to wake up then do something right. I don't even care bout my study, i don't give a damn to people whom trying to encourage me. I was rude, i shouldn't be pushing my friends and my boyfriend away. Surely, i need those people.

I'm trying to find a good side of me, yap !! realizing my bad is the first step.
After all that i've been through, those worst things, who on earth can i turn to ?!
I'm so grateful, He still gives me some more time to start over my spirit. It's just too bad that i wasted my time by doing nothing instead of do what i gotta do. Graduate soon !! :)
The most important point is i've found the new spirit to finish my graduate-thesis; writing, reading, analyzing and praying is all what i gotta do.
I don't care about my self, it's fine. But it's time to pay back, just don't let the people around me feel disapointed of having me as someone they love..


p.s. Welcome back Mr. Spirit and just make your self at home :)

Hello Again...

Almost a month i leave martabak manis, no writing and no story. Yes, there were so many ideas came up in my head from time to time but i never really got a chance to write it. Busy ?! uummm.. not really. Just disappear for a while :) Anywho, where ever you are, i bring you some stories that probably you would like to read :D

1. I just got back from my hometown Bengkulu. Celebrating Idul Fitri with my whole big family and my friends, you know it's kinda a long awaited reunion. So happy but time goes by so fast and here i am, back to my daily life as a last year student who should finish her graduate-thesis soon, very soon.

2. My weight !! gosh gosh !! just can't believe it rises 4 kilograms. aarrrgghhhh :(
gee.. a big fat tall beautiful gorgeous agy is back !! :D

3. And ya, bout my graduate-thesis.. haven't even started to re-write. Have to find an encouragement; anything, anyone, anywho, whatever. I need that as long as it encourages me so i can start to finish and free my soul from the bloody question "Kapan wisuda ?!"

4. For somebody out there, hope you are fine and always have the same feeling with me. Wish you were here with your very comforting smile just to say "have a great day agli.." every single morning when i wake up. I know, distance means nothing when someone means so much, but i just wanna be honest with my self that i miss him, i miss him to the bone.
Would love to meet up sometime in the near future..

And others ?! well yaa.. doing great with my incredible best girlfriends and other friends at campus. One thing for sure, i miss my two little brothers, my mom and my dad. Really miss to be around them. Oh yaa.. FYI "Sinusitis itu menyakitkaaan dan sangat tidak enak" so avoid ice, any kind of ice; ice cream, cold soft drink, waffle ice cream, ice cream sundae and any other float drinks. Special for me and all of you, start a healhty life !!
So, so so.. i guess that is all for now. Hope i can do more writing next time :)

Am i overreacting ?!

Having a long distance relationship ?!
It never crossed my mind not even in my wildest dream.
Well ya, the day that i agreed to have this kinda relationship i was thinking that this relationship won't last more than three months. But i was all wrong, it's 28 months already. Until now, I do believe this is the benefit of being an easy going person, yea i don't really need a person whom always be there for me, meaning that i can actually meet the person whom i have relationship with. No, i don't need that. I'd like to be alone, have my own time and keep trying to be an independent girl who is able to finish many stuffs by my self. Also positively i'll learn how the length of the distance teach me to more patient and faithful.

For 28 months i know pretty well how to deal with all jealousy, anger, missing, trust and to be trusted and also faithful. Sometime i can handle it well and sometime i failed, if i may say I've failed almost all the time :( .. It's more difficult since i realize i know i can do anything that i want without him knowing whatever i'm doing here. I'm tired to struggle on those problems. I'm sick of it. Then somehow it changed. I started seeing long distance relationship in a different way. Right now i need the real one, like, when i need someone to help me with school work, someone to give me a hand with all my graduate-thesis stuff, someone whom his face always smile for me just to cheer me up, he can't really be there to help me. We've done many things to make that distance seems nothing; chatting online, video conference, video call by cell phone, texting, talking on the phone, etc. But still, meeting him in person is something very special since i can't see him everyday.

I know i should not be that selfish by wanting him to be right here beside me. There are reasons why this is happening. Yaa i know, the only thing that i still believe; it surely will be better when something so far finally gets so close to me. When will it happen ?! it'll come exactly when i can pass through all those messy things. Just let the LDR drama started :)

Other Side of The World

Last two days i met my uncle on facebook. Let me tell you something about him first, he's my mom's little brother, a nice person and so generous, one thing that always remind me of him : his curl hair :D and i call him Mang Senan. As usual he asked my study, when will i graduate, and you know the answer's still the same "i'm on my way to make it and keep praying for me". That day he informed me something, something that i'll never know if he didn't tell me.

"Ag, ndak kontak cik Mala di Inggris dak ?!"

Woow !! I'm so excited he told me so. Then i searched my cik Mala's facebook account, and gotcha !! Nurmala Malongsari. I added her and also sent a message. First, eventhough we are aunt and niece, i doubt if she's still remember me or not. Because i just met her one time in Palembang at Cik Iim's wedding party. All because we grew up in different place, i'm in Bengkulu while she's kinda career women whom travel a lot and last time i heard she's in United Kingdom.

After waiting about 3 and half hours, finally she replied my message. I'm so glad that she's still remember me and also asked some questions about my study :D Yay !! We are officially connected via facebook :D (this is why i love facebook and kinda addicted). I do enjoy her 14 photo albums and her writing (and also make me jealous). i see how's her life in Newcastle United Kingdom: Cik Mala and her husband, Cik Mala and the snow, her garden in the back yard, her veggies and chicken, perfectly all of those pictures are awesome. I wish i could be there someday, feel the snow, summer, spring, autumn and socialize with british people with their lovely accent (which is i adore so much) :)

Cik Mala and her garden at the back yard

Cik Mala and My uncle at Venice the city of water

Well, may be some of you see this post as an exaggerating story. But for me it's so special, i found one of my family who live far far away from Indonesia. All i can say to her, never forget our hometown and we are barely waiting to see her again in Indonesia. Really miss her and so many questions i would like to ask.

p.s Cik Mala, masih inget pempek lenjer dak eh ?!... :D

Fabulous Trip to North Sumatra…

Dear all… It’s been so long since my last post in Martabak Manis, and finally I have time to write all my daily stories over here and I’m kinda miss writing to share my thoughts, my feelings, my wishes and all my silly stories to you all (as if there are people reading my blog, hehe..). Since my modem doesn’t work anymore, means that no more internet private connection in my yellow room, and it sucks !! seems like something missing, something disappear that force me to find another activities before I go to bed. It’s really bored.. But I see the bright side, no internet connection makes me little bit more productive in finishing and revising my thesis !! (yihaa.. agli rocks !! :D)

And now, I’m not going to tell you about my thesis, Instead I bring a story that happen few weeks ago, yap fellas I just got back from my 10 days trip to North Sumatra, and it was awesome. Me and my two incredible best friend forever Nina and Ijong visited Rantau Prapat, Marbau, Medan, Brastagi, Bukit Gundaling, Parapat, Samosir Island, Tongging and other tourism spot just like the wonderful Sipiso-piso water fall. There, we really had a great time together with some new friends of Nina’s cousin. Well yaa, the only thing problem is money. Since we don’t earn money so we do all the best to make it happened (one of the solutions is borrowing some from others :D..). And we did, even though we’re out of money but still we were truly enjoy the tour. It gave us such a great experience. Frankly i was like dreaming that we’re in Samosir island.. wow.. One thing for sure, this vacation, this journey, this adventure someday will be something which remind us about our friendship that we built in sadness, happiness, tears and joys.. Of course my friends in my facebook account will be the witnesses of this journey (i've already uploaded 88 photos of us and also tagged some of my close persons just to show them that we're on vacation, hehe...).. perfectly MEDAN ROCKS !!
If people ask the three of us “what are the two things most important in our life”, the answer is very simple; eating and travelling. Yahaha.. we lacked of money but still we had to eat as much as we can and eat what we won’t find in Padang and here we go.. it’s time for junk food :D Feels so peaceful of seeing wonderful view in brastagi and samosir while our stomach is full of some delicious but not healthy food, ooh… heavenly..

Amazing Samosir..

Brastagi.. So Refreshingg..

And guys, people say there must be ups and downs in life, we’re happy, we’re laugh with totally have no idea what will happen next. Just my luck !! Ijong and I bought a shirt in Parapat and I lost it, Really wanted to cry because that shirt is special for Kak Jeni, but what can I say, it’s gone.. So sorry Kak jeni, I have nothing to give to you… Also Nina, she bought two branded shirts in Medan fair and too bad.. she lost them all !! Suddenly we realized one thing, why would this thing happened ?! My bad !! our bad !! Hedonism hedonism hedonism.. Astaghfirullah.. All I write from beginning is just all that happiness, laugh and having fun. We’re so embarrassed.. For me, this is more than just a wonderful vacation, what I learn is say no to hedonism, anything too much isn’t good and it’s better to share and give other people who needs those things more than us, I do believe Nina and Ijong also feel the same way.. Nothing wrong with having fun, but one thing for sure just have it in the right way..

p.s : besok-besok liburan lagi aaaaahhh.... :D