Me on December

Hello :) First of all, happy new year !! and it's 2011, new year, new day, new hopes ,wish everything be better, more beautiful and the most important thing; keep living life to the fullest :)

Well, i'm not gonna talk about new year or anything related, instead i bring a story of me at the end of December 2010. December 22, well ya it's mother's day. i know it's late to write something bout it but you know my right hand just got better few days ago. What about it ?! my right hand ?! oh it's a long story and let me tell you this in another story. But anyway , about two weeks ago i had a very happy days, let's say "i was happy to the max !!". oh God i can't believe i finally did it. i passed my graduate-thesis examination on the mother's day and for that my sincere gratitude goes upon the most valuable persons in my life for their love and support. My parents and my only two little brothers; Ibu, Bapak, Nday and Adi. They are my only reason to keep trying and be a better person, also thank you so very much for giving me uncountable spirit, love and affection when I fell down. Special for the one whom i have the relationship with for the last 35 months, you are just that kind and for sure i'll name you in my acknowledgement :D

Speaking about mother's day and my parents especially my mom, i do admit that i'm still nothing, i haven't give anything in return for everything they gave to me. Are they proud of me ?! i am not really sure bout it, but one thing for sure they are my hero. My mom and my dad didn't come from a wealthy family but they both was so very lucky to had grandpa and grandma who concerned about education much. it's like they did everything they could to support their kids with good education no matter how hard the family financial situation was. Grown up in a family like this, Mom and Dad concern alot about me and my siblings' education. My Mom is the one who always accompany us when we do our homework and they like to send us to join any courses than to buy jewelries or decorate our house. They always put education on top priority in our little family and they put aside their own needs, i know for sure they do all of that simply because they love us that much. And me as the eldest children in my family should be a good daughter and a kind sister for my little brothers, and yeaaah i'm still on my way to be a good figure for them. Can i ?! But too bad, because recently I believe that they are upset bout my education where i didn't graduate strict to the time, i'm so sorry for that mistake.. But still i really hope this happy news could heal that feeling :) ( I got A mom, dad..). For all things they did and didn't do to me, i do love them so very much. i love you mom, i love you dad more than i ever showed you. I really hope i can make you proud of me in your life time, because i do proud to be your daughter.

Happy mother's day mom..
Selamat hari Ibu, Ibuku..

We were meant to be !!

This short writing is dedicated to kak Jeni :)

I know that i really had quality times with you, hanging together, laughing silly things and sometimes i wonder what was the thing that made me miss you so deeply. We've been together for 35 months and for all what i've done I never meant to hurt you or else, i am really sorry for the tone i used, words that i said that hurts you so bad. i don't want to lose you either. But may be i'm still less capable to show you what i feel.

Tears, anger and jealousy.. i've started to get used to it :) and now i know that nothing is impossible when it comes to love.Truly, I feel the best when I'm with you. oh ya i have something for you kak, please enjoy the photograph below. I draw it when i got stuck with my graduate-thesis, but later it cheers me up and yes !! we were meant to be ;)

cute, huh ?! :D

Hope you like that cute photograph :)
See you soon :)

Who on earth can i turn to ?!

Life is too hard to go through it alone, without something to hold onto and without something that is sacred. Lately i turned to be someone, what's the phrase i'm looking for ?! hmm.. "A girl who had no interest to fix her life to be much better".

Yes, i am lazy.
Yes, i have no idea what to do.
Yes, i am the most stubborn man ever.
Yes, i am selfish.
Yes, i am a worst sister and not a good daughter.
Yes, i am not a good friend.
Yes, i am a terrible girlfriend.
Yes, I'VE HURT SO MANY PEOPLE IN MY LIFE !!
And yes, i am a pathetic girl.

Well ya, those "yes things" sound horrible, huh ?! I'm just trying to open my heart in order to be someone better, realizing how bad i am. I know that i was wrong but don't know why it's really hard to wake up then do something right. I don't even care bout my study, i don't give a damn to people whom trying to encourage me. I was rude, i shouldn't be pushing my friends and my boyfriend away. Surely, i need those people.

I'm trying to find a good side of me, yap !! realizing my bad is the first step.
After all that i've been through, those worst things, who on earth can i turn to ?!
I'm so grateful, He still gives me some more time to start over my spirit. It's just too bad that i wasted my time by doing nothing instead of do what i gotta do. Graduate soon !! :)
The most important point is i've found the new spirit to finish my graduate-thesis; writing, reading, analyzing and praying is all what i gotta do.
I don't care about my self, it's fine. But it's time to pay back, just don't let the people around me feel disapointed of having me as someone they love..


p.s. Welcome back Mr. Spirit and just make your self at home :)

Am i overreacting ?!

Having a long distance relationship ?!
It never crossed my mind not even in my wildest dream.
Well ya, the day that i agreed to have this kinda relationship i was thinking that this relationship won't last more than three months. But i was all wrong, it's 28 months already. Until now, I do believe this is the benefit of being an easy going person, yea i don't really need a person whom always be there for me, meaning that i can actually meet the person whom i have relationship with. No, i don't need that. I'd like to be alone, have my own time and keep trying to be an independent girl who is able to finish many stuffs by my self. Also positively i'll learn how the length of the distance teach me to more patient and faithful.

For 28 months i know pretty well how to deal with all jealousy, anger, missing, trust and to be trusted and also faithful. Sometime i can handle it well and sometime i failed, if i may say I've failed almost all the time :( .. It's more difficult since i realize i know i can do anything that i want without him knowing whatever i'm doing here. I'm tired to struggle on those problems. I'm sick of it. Then somehow it changed. I started seeing long distance relationship in a different way. Right now i need the real one, like, when i need someone to help me with school work, someone to give me a hand with all my graduate-thesis stuff, someone whom his face always smile for me just to cheer me up, he can't really be there to help me. We've done many things to make that distance seems nothing; chatting online, video conference, video call by cell phone, texting, talking on the phone, etc. But still, meeting him in person is something very special since i can't see him everyday.

I know i should not be that selfish by wanting him to be right here beside me. There are reasons why this is happening. Yaa i know, the only thing that i still believe; it surely will be better when something so far finally gets so close to me. When will it happen ?! it'll come exactly when i can pass through all those messy things. Just let the LDR drama started :)

Temen Baru..

Ditengah-tengah proses penyelesaian thesis-ku yang ternyata baru selesai beberapa halaman, untuk kesekian kalinya aku menemukan kembali aktifitas pengalih yang jauuuh lebih menyenangkan dari pada nyelesein skripshit :D ... Nah, berhubung sekarang lagi puasa yang biasanya mengakibatkan berat badan kian berat karena agenda buka bareng yang ngga ada habisnya serta laper mata (dan laper perut) disaat berbuka yang bikin aku pengen beli semua jajanan yang ada di "Pasar Pabukoan", aku, agy si pesek menemukan aktifitas untuk menyeimbangi berat badan yang berpotensi untuk kian bertambah berat tersebut (halah). jejeeeenggg...

Hullahop warna-warni 

hiaaak !!! :D
aku menjadwalkan setiap hari untuk bermain hullahop selama kurang lebih satu jam, jam 5 - jam 6 sore atau jam 6 - jam 7 pagi. Awalnya sih keliatan seperti robot, badan kaku dan putaran hullahop yang mampu ku capai ngga lebih dari 5 putaran. Ternyata kata-kata orang barat "Practise makes Perfect" itu bener banget, setelah berminggu-minggu main hullahop konsisten dengan jadwal yang udah aku tetapkan, aku menjadi pemain hullahop yang jauuuh lebih baik, yaaah... udah nyampe ratusan, alhamdulillah :D
olrite !! puasa sih boleh puasa, laper sih boleh laper, haus sih boleh haus tapi bukan berarti lantasan ngebikin kita males gerak. Ibadah iya, olahraga iya, sehat iya dan langsingpun iya (amiiinn) :D

   

Lovely Twenty (two)..

Seperti semua orang di dunia, akupun punya hari lahir. 7 agustus tepatnya, setiap tanggal ini di tiap tahun usiaku bertambah yang berarti jatah hidup ku di dunia ikut seta berkurang. Ditahun ini usiaku genap 22 tahun, yah, lumayan berumur lumayan tua. I do believe i've changed, i turn to be someone different. Semakin lama aku sendiri bingung memaknai "ulang tahun" harusnya seperti apa, tapi yang jelas sabtu 7 agustus kemarin mereka semua: teman, saudara, keluarga, pacar memberi ucapan serta mengucap doa terbaik untukku yang semua itu berati satu; Happiness :)

Let's take a look days before my birthday, dimalam ulang tahunku dan beberapa hari sebelumnya aku mengalami yaah i felt just like someone who live alone, no one care of me and nobody loves me. Perasaan aneh ini kian menjadi-jadi, aku kian menutup diri, lebih memilih menghabiskan waktu sendirian di kosan, nonton sampe mataku terasa perih. Something occured, i cried after watching Chuck season 3 episode 19 (again). That night I watched it for three times and everytime i watched it my tears go down.. Well sounds stupid may be, selain chuck episode 19 ini memang episode favoritku (scene yang selalu bikin aku nangis: ketika Shaw menembak ayah chuck. No need to explain but i just think i need to make it clear), saat itu aku ngerasa ngga butuh siapa-siapa karena aku yakin kalo aku sempat cerita ke mereka, bisa dipastikan mereka hanya akan menanggapi perasaanku ini sebagai suatu hal yang berlebihan. Tapi Setelahnya aku ngerasa lega, rasanya semua yang nyesek berkurang, aku pun sedikit jadi lebih tenang dan ternyata kali ini aku cuma butuh nangis. Sedikit rasa lega dan deep down inside i want to see my family, i want my mom and my dad hug me, i want a surprise simple gift from my two little brothers, just like years ago, they gave me coldplay first album (coz i lost mine). God.. I'm so grateful for having those people around me..

Paginya, aku bangun lebih awal dan i found so many unread massages in my cell phone and my facebook wall also full of birthday wishes :) Mereka mengirimkan ucapan selamat dan doa yang sukses bikin aku merasa haru, belum sempat ku balas satu-satu tiba-tiba My hero memanggil dan ringtone "Alert-alert !! your daddy is calling" terdengar dari handphoneku, dengan excited ku jawab panggilan itu:

Agli : "Hallo assalamualaikum bapak.."

My Hero : "Waalaikumsalah warrohmatullah.. (bapak, Ibu, Nday, adi nyanyi bareng) "Slamat ulang tahun, Slamat ulang tahun, slamat ulang tahun agli... slamat ulang tahuuuuunn" yeeeee... selamat ulang tahun agliiii... (i guess this is adi's voice)

Ibu Tersayang : "Cieee... ulang tauun niyeee... berapo umur sekarang yuk ?!"

Agli : (sekuat tenaga mengeluarkan suara normal biar ngga ketahuan kalo nangis, dan gagal total) " 22 tahun bu.."

My Hero : "Waii.. lah berumur itu, semoga umurnyo berkah yo nak"

Ibu Tersayang : "Selamat ulang tahun dan semoga sukses dunia akhirat.. jangan bolong-bolong sholatnyo.."

Agli : "mokasih bu, pak.. Insyaallah sholat terus.."

Adi : (setengah berteriak) agli, cepet balik yo, beli baju lebaraaaaann !! hehehe..."

Akupun ngga bisa menahan tangis, selain bahagia tangis pagi itu membuatku kembali yakin kalo aku ngga pernah sendiri, mereka selalu ingat aku, sayang dan mendoakan agar aku kian menjadi manusia yang lebih baik :) Dan surprise dari mereka orang-orang terdekatku belum berakhir, nina one of my incredible best friend forever called and what a surprise; nina, ijong, nina's mom, dian and ai (nina's little sisters) also sing happy birthday for me :) . . . and my tears go down again :) Pagi itu aku semakin menyadari akan kado terindah dari Allah, aku dikelilingi orang-orang yang penuh kasih dan aku ngga akan pernah sendiri karena mereka selalu ada dan senantiasa mendoakanku, yaah.. kabar gembira lainnya, aku juga punya keluarga disini. I don't know how to say it : sisters, incredible best friend forever, nina-agy-ijong backpacker wannabe, or whatever it is,
YOU GUYS ARE SPECIAL FOR ME.

Well, well, well, bersyukur akan punya orang-orang seperti mereka dan sekarang saatnya we do something fun, something to cheer me up and i can't make it without them. Setelahnya tepat jam 9 aku, ijong dan nina beserta keluarganya meluncur ke pantai carocok painan pesisir selatan. What a coincidence, nina yang lagi dikunjungi keluarganya yang berarti kami (aku dan ijong maksudnya) harus dan wajib turut serta menemani mereka jalan-jalan. hahaha... and here we are !! at carocok beach !! really had a great time there, and for you please enjoy some photographs of us with hullahoop, banana boat and yeaa we're so happy !!!

Agli-nina-Inong with the brand new Hullahop : )

Berpose dengan kain pantai : )

WOOOW !! Hullahop in action !!

Hiaaak !! main banana boat !! seruuu :D


Semakin menegangkaaan :D


Jembatan Akar : )

Untuk semua, aku cuma bisa bilang makasih dan I am totally have no idea how to thank you all for being there for me no matter what, There's no way i'm living without you, Cause we belong together now and forever united here somehow.. And yea, You got a piece of me, and honestly.. my life would suck without YOU..

Thank You just for loving me :)

Aku minta maaf...

Seharusnya aku semangat seperti mereka, seharusnya aku bisa mengendalikan diri untuk tetap konsentrasi nulis thesis, giat merevisi, semangat bimbingan, ngebaca ulang novel-ku, tapi faktanya aku kian ngga bersemangat untuk ngelakuin itu semua :( ... Aku lagi malas, malas banget. Semakin gagal melawan malas yang kian menjadi-jadi ini.
Jadi pesimis bisa wisuda Oktober nanti. Maaf Ibu, maaf bapak, maaf nday, maaf adi, agli sepertinya bakal mengecewakan kalian semua..

Lovely Nick name..

Ayuk ag, Agli, agy, Agry, Kak Agry,
Uni Agy, Cik Ak, Pesek, Tomok, Bakpaw,
Gendut, Adenya Sule, Adek..

Si pesek

Setiap orang yang pernah ketemu aku langsung, awalnya pasti komentar masalah postur badan ku yang tingginya diatas rata-rata anak perempuan di Indonesia. Dan dengan berbagai ungkapan unik-unik mereka "Ya ampun, tinggi bener, makan apa ?!" (komen kurang waras) atau "hobbi renang ya ?!" (komen waras) atau "tinggi bener kamu gi, udah kaya tiang listrik aja" (komen sirik), komentar-komentar itu bikin aku bangga punya ibu-bapak cap bangkok, hehe. "Olrite, kalo ngelamar kerja ngga mesti pusing karena kurang tinggi atau apa" gumamku. Tapi dibalik itu semua ngga sedikit dari mereka yang ngeh akan betapa tragisnya keadaan hidung ku. Ya. aku agry pramita punya idung yang ngga panjang, ngga mancung dan ngga banget. PESEK.

Waktu kecil-kecil dulu, pesona idung pesek ku ini terabaikan oleh wajah tak berdosa yang aku punya. SD, SMP, SMA pesona itu masih agak tersamarkan karena badan ku yang masih masuk ketegori normal alias ngga over weight. tapi sekarang, semua berubaah !! yang pesek tambah pesek, yang lebar kian lebar. yap. sekarang aku lebih dikenal dengan si agry gendut muka lebar nan pesek. Semua panggilan aneh bin ajaib perlahan mulai melekat, mulai dari giant, Russel (itu loh, tokoh anak kecil di film animasi UP), sampe pantat lebar sukses menggantikan nama cantik ku A-G-Y. Malah ada yang lebih tragis lagi, seseorang nun jauh disana yang berlabelkan "pacar saya" dengan segenap daya kreatifitasnya, menciptakan beberapa perubahan di wajahku. Mule dari pencangkokkan hidung Karina Kapoor, wajah ala super model yang tirus berdagu lancip, dan hasilnya bisa dipastikan muka ku jadi tambah aneh dang makin ngga banget, makasih. Parahnya lagi foto itu tersebar di akun facebook ku. huaaa... temen-teman yang tadinya masih rada ragu untuk memanggilku pesek, berubah menjadi cheerleaders yang setiap ketemu selalu menyuarakan atau mengisaratkan atau menggangu atau mengusiliku tanpa ampun : "eh, gi, keren fotonya. ituuu... idungnya hehe" atau "Gi, mau dong idungnya dibikin gitu, hihi..", huuaaa.. akunya cuma bisa ketawa-ketawa getir, meratapi nasib hidungku yang penuh cobaan :((

Awalnya si nyante aja atau lebih tepatnya pura-pura nyante, tapi lama kelamaan rada risih juga. Oke, meditasi pun dimulai atau bahasa kerennya self defense mechanism (halah), nyeneng-nyenengin diri dengan pujian yang aku bikin sendiri, trus sibuk ngaca sambil tetap meyakinkan kalo gendut itu cantik dan pesek itu imut, sampe akhirnya aku berada di titik yang namanya capek. Oke cukup, dari pada aku tergiur untuk melakukan berbagai operasi yang ngga murah dan menyakitkan itu, yang selain ngga murah akupun dijamin masuk neraka, maka aku berhasil meyakinkan diri "gendut itu cantik dan pesek itu ngegemesin" sip. top markotop.

Ternyata doa orang-orang tertindas memang di denger tuhan, gini ceritanya, kemaren siang aku beli nasi goreng disebelah kosan yang spicy dan lezat serta murah-meriah (promosi !), nah.. sambil nunggu pesanan aku ngobrol-ngobrol sama uda dan uni sang empunya warung. terus terus si Uni bilang "Si agy ini mirip itu ya, aduuuhhh... siapa itu pemain bulutangkis China itu, tim uber kemaren" heee ?! akunya cengok, bengong kaya kebo dicolok idungnya tapi anehnya masih tetep bisa ngejawab kebungungan si Uni, dengan buka bengong plus sedikit terlihat bego, aku berkata "Wang Yihan uni.." hoho serta merta uni menanggapi dengan semangat berapi-api "naaahhh iya, itu, Wang Yihan. Mirip loh gi, ama kamu, sipit-sipitnya, putih-putihnya, tinggi-tingginya..." dalam hati aku bergumam "jangan bilang pesek-peseknya juga mirip", dan ternyata pengakuan si Uni berhenti di kata tinggi-tinggnya, hore hore :D
oke, seneng. Nah, sorenya pas aku beli cemilan ditoko sebelah, kejadian yang sama terulang. Uni sang penjaga toko bilang kalo aku mirip sama Wang Yihan.. hehe.. senaaang. ternyata pesek-pesek gini ada kembarannya loh, hihi..

Wang Yihan sang Juara

Ini siapaaa ?! oooh... si pesek ternyata..

haha.. terserah kalian yang menilai deh. Yang pasti aku bangga sama idung pesek ku, aku besyukur akan badan lebarku.. Pesek-pesek gini, karunia tuhan yang harus dan akan selalu aku syukuri dan kerennya hidung pesek ku ini juga berfungsi dengan baik loh :D
Aku bangga punya iduung pesek.

Cheers ^^